Snapshots of Heaven

So, one day I'm gettin ready to pick up hot-butta-girl...that girl I dumped for whats-his-face, but took back 'cause I missed her toast...and right as I'm ready to leave, whats-his-face busts through the door and sets me on fuckin' fire.



I'm like, "WTF! That's my arm, yo flamin' MOFO!   I'll kill yo' bitch ass!!"




Yeah muh boy's one crazy-assed mofo. So, I'm like, "WTF's wit' you muthafucka?"




So, he whips out this snapshot of himself upon entering the place of the Almighty and proceeds to tell me that that short couple he's about to walk in front of is God...or that one's God and the other's a drag-dyke for God




So now I'm sweatin' like a whore in church on Sunday. "WTF?!? Which one's the covert carpet muncher and wtf does God need one of those for?."

So, he tells me he thinks that the lady there is God and that the guy, her husband, is the 'bearded' bull-dyke.. Before he could go any further, and very sorry I asked any questions...I'm like, "DUDE!  Yo's crazier than... "





Not lettin' me finish, and after lookin' at me like I lost my nuts...he whips out mo' snapshots of heaven...

He told me that this here guy was the welcoming committee (and here I thought that was St. Peter's job)  and that he welcomed him wit': "Hi, welcome to heaven...I'm Hudson-the-happy het."   Who says that shit?




And here's some more heavenly snapshots he witnessed and snapped...







 


...and before I could say a word...he whips out a few "before the pearly gates" snapshots ...















and wit' that last one...I lost it!  "Ahhhhhhhhh...OH GOD! My eyes! I'm blind... I'm fuckin' blind!"




Well, I recovered my eyes after a while...just to walk into this here...

him actin' like his accidentally dashing, irresistibly charming, disarmingly adorable self...wit' that bitch he claims is God. But this time, I wasn't havin' it....





Nah...I didn't send him to prison but I made him be muh 'xample of what could happen to ya if you don't buy my book...'specially now since I got  the inside scoop.

Oh yeah, I also found out Jesus is still in time out after 2,000 years for actin' a homo wit' hiz 12 husbands...


yep, but those two...God? Hell! I hope not.