Not without muh boy.

Yeah, muh book sold off the charts thanks to muh boy. So, I decided I'm takin' him wit' me when I travel to the Mid East to research my next book: Under the Burka By: Me.

'Xcept it won't be me floatin' that fashion disaster...I'd melt sure as that coffee-drinkin' witch in that movie about those midgets did. Nope...it'll be whats-his-face under there. Just gotta convince him is all.

Here's the thing, whats-his-face gets jealous...real jealous, like those two step-sisters in that fairytale about the prince who wears glass slippers. So I got this idea...I decided to take this here dude wit' me shootin' Only he couldn't shoot the side of a barn until he could. Yeah...so when he finally hit somethin', I said, real loud, so whats-his-face could hear,

"Well, sub-divide me and kentucky-fry me! Never thought a cross-eyed critter like you could hit the bull's eye like you did. Too bad the eye you shot out was yo mama's!!"




Yeah so he shot his po' mama here...shot her eye completely out her head. She kept doin' like this the whole time he was shootin'...I think I would've shot her too...





Well, as you can see here, muh boy got real worked up. Whats-his-face was like, "Listen here muthafucka..that burka's mine! Don't let me catch you flutterin' by wearin' what's mine...ya hear me?!?"





But I had to be sure. So I invited that dude, wit' the now half-blind mama over, and timed it so that whats-his-face would be sure to catch him tryin' on burkas, but he walked in before I even got the burkas out, and man was muh boy pissed!





Yeah, so it's not enough that muh boy already set me on fuckin' fire, he comes at me again, like one of those wicked step-sisters on roids, and slices up the same arm he torched. I was like, "Yo Drizella..When I hit you in yo head you gonna drop like your ball's on...





But right as I was about to bury muh boy like a bone, his fruity-assed purse dog wit' wings comes flyin' in to the rescue. Yeah, the one that he said God's angels gave him....WTF?!?





And not two seconds lata' Drizi's (that's what I now call him now) two angels come ridin' through in some fairy carriage. The one on the left, J. Edgar Somethin' or other, warns me that he's been promoted to head the GBI... and that I'd better watch my step, and then vanished...




Well I heeded that warnin', but he don't scare me 'cause I'm strong like that. So, it took some doin' but strong as I am I finally got Drizzi on the plane to come wit' me....




And damn what a journey it was. Drizzi was the bell of the balls in that middle eastern town, but I vowed to protect his ass no matter what. I'm not scared or nothin' but I didn't want Little Bits the fruity-assed purse dog wit' wings to call back them angels in the fairy carriage, 'cause that would be the end of my bits...and they ain't so little.. So I vowed to return...not without muh boy.