Poor What's his name.

OK, this is how it went down. This old bitch...this... this...over the hill 'ho, who be yearnin' for the years of her hoochie past, wanted my boy for herself.

Yep, that's her, wieldin' that blade at my boy 'cause he said a curse.



Well, she had me tied up too, but I escaped 'cause I work out all the time. I tried to jump back in and save him but...




...that hatin. A$$. mofo sliced me up.

..that really hurt, but I didn't cry. I'm strong like that...I can bench an elephant...my boy there can just about bench one of those invisible pink unicorns he likes so much, so yeah, all he could do was say some nasty curse...lotta good that did.



I even joined the Romanian SWAT team to try to save my boy...yep, that's where we was, Romania.

That's me peakin' out...I'm havin' trouble breathin' but that didn't matter 'cause I just wanted to rescue, what's his name, my boy.



Finally, at my wit's end..I asked this guy to help me..Jack somethin'...I'm bad with names.

What a mistake that was...yeah, he broke in alright but damn, he's like slaughter-house-five on crystal meth! If ya see this guy comin' at ya...run like hell.



Anyways, that's me smiling 'cause that blood splattered on me is all I got left of my boy, what's-his-name.

So yeah, that's my sad story, but something tells me those invisible pink unicorns my boy likes so much...yeah, the ones he can barely press, are sewin' him up to send him back to me.



If not, here's some fine memories I can hold onto:

Here's when he gave me my own spray can of green sparkly glitter.

don't tell him this, but that was a fake smile...I hate that shit. :



Here's when we was thrown in the slammer for tryin' to synchronize swim in some old bat's hot tub. We thought it was a pool...how were we supposed to know?

Anyways, that's me smiling 'cause I like when he's in chains, although, what's-his-name don't like it so much 'cause he couldn't break out of his like I could...I'm strong like that.



That's me changin' the channel, takin' advantage of when he went to check on his cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels. What's-his-name was watchin' his fave movie with that crazy broad who makes her kid's clothes out of drapes...I hate that freakin' movie.

But don't tell what's-his-name, 'cause since I'm so strong, I can endure shit like that...so I don't like to crush his tenderness.

Well, that's all for now. These memories are gettin' to me. If he's not back soon, I may have to post some more... peace out.