Intelligence? Gift? Curse?

Well, as one who didn't cash in on that one, I don't know. But, my man Crispin Hellion "the gangsta" Glover seems to have an answer. You see, I think he did receive that gift/curse and that gift/curse allows him to see stuff. Yep, that's him:


Wow! Not to change the subject or anything but I didn't realize...now, that is a gift.

Anyways, take me, for instance...I just missed the other end of the spectrum...the end that is pretty much dismissed, taunted and teased for being backward, birdbrained, defective, dim, dim-witted, dopey, dull, dumbbell, dumbo, dumdum, dummy, feeble-minded, gorked, half-witted, held back, imbecile, lamebrained, mentally defective, moronic, numbskull, opaque, pinhead, retardo, sappy, simple, simple-minded, slow, slow-witted, stupid, subnormal, touched, underachieving, weak, yo-yo , etc. Yeah I know, anyone who reads this here whatever it is that I've got goin' might think that I didn't miss anything of the sort.

Where did they get "downs syndrome" from anyway? Downs? Right there, it kind of sounds like a bad thing. Why not "ups syndrome"? And why syndrome? What about "heartenedly witted"? Like, they "think" from their hearts more than their brains? 'Cause if you ever met someone with what they call "downs syndrome", they obviously have very smart hearts.

So why did Crispin put those people in his movie, then? To make fun of them? I mean he's a gangsta, right? And gangstas don't make fun, they just torture, kill, grind up, and order fancy cement boots for those lucky enough to be chosen. Making fun seems to be a waste of a gangsta's time. Don't ya think?

Not to change the subject or anything...but he really is gifted, isn't he?

Anyways, back to the subject...hmmm...I seem to have forgotten. Well, if I remember I'll come back and post.

Oh yeah, so Crispin refers to those people as "culturally innocent". And I bet that's a good thing in Crispin's eyes because those people can't/ won't ever become part of the "conservative corporately funded and distributed film industry" that he likes to talk about.

So, I think it's safe to assume that this state of being could also be considered a gift or curse as well, and if that's the case, then it's safe to assume that those at both ends of the "intelligence" spectrum have a lot more in common, than do all those in the middle, like David "I'm cool" Letterman who is obviously steeped in cultural primordialism... what does that mean, anyways? Hmmm...well, on second thought, maybe not so much:


Maybe, Crispin should go back and visit Dave.

Poor What's his name.

OK, this is how it went down. This old bitch...this... this...over the hill 'ho, who be yearnin' for the years of her hoochie past, wanted my boy for herself.

Yep, that's her, wieldin' that blade at my boy 'cause he said a curse.



Well, she had me tied up too, but I escaped 'cause I work out all the time. I tried to jump back in and save him but...




...that hatin. A$$. mofo sliced me up.

..that really hurt, but I didn't cry. I'm strong like that...I can bench an elephant...my boy there can just about bench one of those invisible pink unicorns he likes so much, so yeah, all he could do was say some nasty curse...lotta good that did.



I even joined the Romanian SWAT team to try to save my boy...yep, that's where we was, Romania.

That's me peakin' out...I'm havin' trouble breathin' but that didn't matter 'cause I just wanted to rescue, what's his name, my boy.



Finally, at my wit's end..I asked this guy to help me..Jack somethin'...I'm bad with names.

What a mistake that was...yeah, he broke in alright but damn, he's like slaughter-house-five on crystal meth! If ya see this guy comin' at ya...run like hell.



Anyways, that's me smiling 'cause that blood splattered on me is all I got left of my boy, what's-his-name.

So yeah, that's my sad story, but something tells me those invisible pink unicorns my boy likes so much...yeah, the ones he can barely press, are sewin' him up to send him back to me.



If not, here's some fine memories I can hold onto:

Here's when he gave me my own spray can of green sparkly glitter.

don't tell him this, but that was a fake smile...I hate that shit. :



Here's when we was thrown in the slammer for tryin' to synchronize swim in some old bat's hot tub. We thought it was a pool...how were we supposed to know?

Anyways, that's me smiling 'cause I like when he's in chains, although, what's-his-name don't like it so much 'cause he couldn't break out of his like I could...I'm strong like that.



That's me changin' the channel, takin' advantage of when he went to check on his cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels. What's-his-name was watchin' his fave movie with that crazy broad who makes her kid's clothes out of drapes...I hate that freakin' movie.

But don't tell what's-his-name, 'cause since I'm so strong, I can endure shit like that...so I don't like to crush his tenderness.

Well, that's all for now. These memories are gettin' to me. If he's not back soon, I may have to post some more... peace out.

All He's Got is...

All he's got is...nothin' I like! 'Cause I like...I like...

...damn! What is it that I like so much?



Oh yeah...that.

Well, I'm not interested, pal. Take it somewhere else.


What the hell, yo!

No, you are not shaving off my eyebrows!



Doo,doo,doo,doo....WTF?!? I must be trippin'...

OK, dude...listen carefully. I love chicks more than sparkly flower fairies stickers..more than...more than... a herd of My Little Ponies...more than invisible pink unicorns... more than sunshine extract...



OK...you must not have gotten the message...

uh..ok, I really don't like those things all that much. I meant to say, cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels... doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles...wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings ...


I don't give a damn what he likes...

..only what I like..

Women are sweet and girls are honey....

...But beat your meat and save your money." - yep, you got it...Crispin Hellion "the gangsta" Glover



But remember Glover's a gangsta...he gets his money for nothing' and his chicks for free...and noooo, not some ugly farm-grown prom hounds...we're talkin' mighty fine looking bitches like this one here:


and like all good gangstas, jugglin' bitches comes natural...she's not the only one, beautiful as she may be.


Hellllioonn no...Tony Soprano...eat ya heart out, yo.



And there are plenty more..

But I have to admit...this here one's my favorite bitch of all...I like 'em with a little facial hair.



Gotta wonder, at the end of the day...What's it all about, Crispin? Uh...more importantly...what's this all about, Crispin? What is it?

Brokeback Airlines, Gay Gridiron and the Beautiful Relationship that Transpired.

Pictured below, is the man who yelled, "Hell! I'm gay too!"to which the response was,


 

by this man, pictured below:

"No need to shout that out, Captain Obvious!" 

to which Mr. "Hell, I"m gay too!" responded,

"Well, Mr. "I'm summoning the spirit of Randy Jones"...if that's not Tinky Winky calling..."

Anyway...their, what began as an angst filled relationship, ended in euphoric bliss after watching Detroit blow, in what went down as the gayest game in gridiron history.

Rain Man - The Taller Version

What? You don't have any underwear on? I gave you a fresh pair of mine to wear. Where are they?



They're in the pocket of your jacket?? ...NO, I don't want them back. ..



You want me to what?!? Sew your name in your underwear?? Uh...that'll be a no.



Look, ya little savant, I'm not goin' back and gettin your underwear on the highway...just give me the money!

Washcloth wars

Whoh, girlie! Settle it down! Toldja he was a one washcloth man.




See, he's the one over on the right...huh? You thought I meant what???











Uh...no, Miss. Mind-in-the-Gutter, I only meant his midget muscles require only one washcloth when we hit the showers after a good workout, whereas mine, as big as they are, require at least seven.


See Blog entries:

Tall People Fighting

Who the hell is Jared Padalecki?

"Jared Padalecki is an actor who currently stars in CW winky-ironic horror show Supernatural. In a nutshell, it’s a bit like Buffy the Vampire Slayer (good) without the feminism (bad) but with better special effects (good) but with not very high ratings (bad for them) and much-better-than-the-ratings-would-suggest-acting-even-and-sometimes-especially-from-the-guest-stars (surprisingly good). All things considered, this show rates as ‘good’.

Before that, he was in a show called Gilmore Girls that seemed to largely involve female bonding, boyfriend drama and families all mucking in together, or something like that. For more information, ask someone who saw it.

"I can brood. And see, I also have facial hair now." "Better."

From a glance on IMDB, it looks like he’s also done a few of the sorts of films that involve frisky teenagers getting their comeuppance in horrible, horrible, bang-never-saw-that-coming, horrible ways.

He was in a film with Paris Hilton. It was not The Hottie and the Nottie. Make of that what you will.

Key trivia: He has muscles. Lots of them. Plus he’s all chiselled ‘n’ shit. And tall. Did I mention tall?"

Then again, real gangstas just might flex nuts.

Crispin Glover this dude who flexed and kicked on Letterman and made this guy walk out on his own show - something, more than 20 years later, we're still talkin' about - is true straight up gangsta. I'm sure of it. He not only rocked the "conservative corporately funded and distributed film industry"- his words, not mine - he sued freakin' Steven Speilberg, and won!

For an undisclosed sum, but apparently, enough - along with the money he earned working within that "corporately funded and distributed film industry" - to make his dream come true. Yep, just your average, run-of-the-mill dream of bringing his cerebral palsy-afflicted former mental hospital shut-in friend's screenplay, that he read back in 1986, to the big screen...a normal, run-of-the-mill screenplay about "cerebral palsy-afflicted serial killer who is irresistible to women - never mind that he's confined to a wheelchair and his speech is all but unintelligible". But, that's not all.

This little project... this gangsta's dream...he felt was his moral obligation, and nothin' was going to get in his way...not even his cerebral palsy-afflicted former mental hospital shut-in friend's imminent death. Nope. In fact, the next part of this story might elevate him to godfatha status.

So, he finds out, 14-yrs later, that his friend ain't doing too well. What's he do? Yanked that dying friend right out of his hospital bed and put him to work. Again, just run-of-the-mill stuff like, stripping him down naked to perform unsimulated sex acts, including one of necrophilia...that's all. Then, after that was done, and he collected enough footage, he let his friend know, so that his friend could kill himself.

Now, Crispin did feel bad about that...in his own words, "To say goodbye to that person, that was a heavy day. A heavy responsibility." Yeah, I know, not very gangsta...but, hey, even a gangsta's gotta feel sometimes.

So, don't let that McFlyish veneer of nerd fool ya....not too far below lurks a true straight up gangsta. Letterman was right to run off scared. He sure can kick.

Real gangstas don't flex nuts.

Uhmmm...what's not to get here, Dave? Paul got it. I think Conan would've got it. I mean Glover was just doin' what any self-respecting dude does when some ho' disses yo shoes...he got all gangsta. What a shame it is that Crispin Glova didn't realize that real gangstas don't flex nuts cuz real gangstas know they got em. Apparently, Dave understood that.

Paul: "Well, I think it was a conceptual piece."
Dave: "But he came very close to denting my head with those giant...."





Glover: "There was something odd about this guy."
Letterman: "Right, that's where the two of you differ."

Jared Padalecki: Never play leapfrog with unicorns

SlideshowJared Padalecki: Never play leap frog with unicorns.

Him? Oh, he will be used as a stunt double in a fight scene using live ammunition in a few minutes, but I'm free.

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Dead men tell no tales

Aye, aye ya sea slugs! Aye be wanting to try that there candy! Give it to me or ye be walkin' da plank! Shiver me timbers! Death comes now, redrum,redrum

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Hold Still!

Or you will live without twinkies for the rest of your life!

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OOO! OOO! OOO!


I know! He suffers from sublimated oedipal tendencies and incestuous narcissistic processes.

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You will be Janet Reno in your next life.

You...you, over thee, you have the sex appeal of a dead carp and your journey this fall starts with a quick push from behind

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If you keep on livin' you will die someday.

hahaha you're right!! that is so funny...you will be dragged into the woods, savagely beaten, and left for dead

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Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am. Now, get off me! I've met mosquitos with more force than you.

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You on Crack?

Git outta here, you cross-eyed buck-toothed white trash hillbilly! Sticks and stones may break your bones but I'll kick your ass.

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What?? you get the impression that i hate you??

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Now, get outta here before I throw you in the outhouse, you sister bangin' cracker .

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That Wasn't Chicken.

Nope, it wasn't. Oh, one more thing...if I was in a room with you and two werewolves, and I had a gun with two silver bullets, I'd shoot you... twice.

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Ahhh It is, truly, all downhill from here my friend..

..you will soon find yourself looking into a great light...just before the train hits you.


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